Rendezvous with Mavericks

Posted: October 7, 2010 in Our Life's Purpose

You had an idea for a book. It was a good idea and you sat in front of your typewriter or computer and hammered out a draft. You went through a flurry of emotion as the weeks and months went by, but you kept at it and finally, it was complete. You sat on it for a couple of weeks and then picked it up and read it to see if it made sense. You revised it, did a down and dirty edit, then sat on it for another couple of weeks. Now it was time to get serious and you started the self-critique process. Once satisfied you had made it the best it could be, it was time to find a publisher. You’re excited, have visions of fame and fortune and then reality sets in. It comes in the form a solid brick wall as you find that there are a multitude of obstacles which must be overcome before anyone will even look at your work.

The publishers are not interested in glancing at your manuscript. You don’t know what to do and then comes a point when battered from constant rejection you think that your story is not worth telling to the world. It should remain in the confines of your cupboard.

But there are some who keeps on knocking the doors of the fate until it opens for their dreams. Similar is the story of two people who kept on knocking the doors until it shattered to give way to their dreams.

The authors of their debut novel just another LOVE STORY, Anand Pethe and Deepti Ingle traveled through the road less travelled and here they are sharing the gist of their journey from nobody to somebody.

 

Q: Well starting the rail of questions I would like to know about you and how you both come together to chart this uncharted journey of publishing your own book?

Anand Pethe (AP): Few years back, when I was going through a very bad phase of my life, I started writing about my experiences regarding some of my failures. I exactly don’t know what got me started writing at that point of time, may be my inner voice ordered me to place my thoughts on a note pad to analyze my negative behavior and REASON out my failures. I had completed my B Tech few years back but some inevitable things came in my way which made me take a two year fruitless break. It’s not that I was not doing anything at that point but whatever i did returned negative results. I was down in confidence when i joined University Department of Chemical Technology for my M Tech. During my masters degree i gained back my lost confidence and converted all the negative thoughts in to positive ones. But as they say, CREATIVITY starts when everything around the person has been demolished by external factors. So for giving the mind some rest despite of negative atmosphere around oneself, mind starts creating or developing the incidences which it wants to happen. We create thoughts and situations within, and that’s how creativity takes birth in person’s life.

I always believed that I have flair, a power to think imaginatively. I could build up a captivating story plot. But few of my close ones saw some of my writings and got impressed. Koutuk (my cousin) for instance suggested that I could be a very good writer, needless to say that I instinctively believed in him and started working on a few ideas which I had in mind from my engineering days. Finally I came to a conclusion that I would be best suited to start writing a love story which I had in my mind. So this all started two and half years back when I was in my 1st year M Tech even before I knew that Deepti was also interested in writing. It was get together meet at Pritam Hotel, Dadar where I understood that she also writes.

Till that time I had completed writing 1st entire draft on my own. She joined me after 2nd draft and started elaborating and editing my writings. This is where Deepti came in to picture.  I had no idea at that time that this love story will actually get published at some point of time with title “just another LOVE STORY”. I am currently working on two different ideas one of which again involves the theme called “Love Story” and the other… well I don’t want to open it right now.

Deepti Ingle (DI): Anand had his own dream to publish and I had mine. And since we are friends for almost 10 years, we had shared this dream.

This particular story was first drafted by Anand and later on we both got together to make it a novel. He is from Kolhapur but dwells in Mumbai and I am from Pune. We first met at our Engineering College. I work for an engineering Firm in Pune.

Q: What is the theme of your book and why you chose this title? Isn’t there are so many love stories in the market already so why people should read your book?

AP: As I have said earlier that I had few stories in my mind… And this love story was close to my heart as it got inspired through the person I used to have big crush in my Engineering days. Unfortunately things didn’t work out between two of us. I have even mentioned the name of girl in my acknowledgement in the book thanking her for being my inspiration to start writing. Had she accepted my proposal, who knows this story would not have got birth at the first the place?  This is the LOVE STORY which sets in UDCT campus, lot of incidences I have mentioned in the book are real though not all but some of them are true.

There is basic difference between the made up story and the story which comes out from the heart, it makes it special and interesting and experiential for the readers. This concept came directly from my heart with some real experiences involved and I just wrote it down.  Deepti then took care of the entire elaborating and editing etc.

I had given the name to the 1st drat as ‘From an Engineering to Final Destination’ then we changed it to final destination when we thought that this will also not work… sudden name came in my mind, why not to put an another LOVE STORY … just two words before Eric Segal’s Phenomenal novel LOVE STORY and thus name came “just another LOVE STORY” this title only suggests that it will be a light hearted love story.

DI: Theme of our book is “Love”. It’s a dramatic Love Story.

Every love story is unique in its own way. However it depends of every person’s perception. As per our perception this story flows as per the command of destiny and not as per character’s wish.

Q: Since you also are doing full time jobs also how you manage your time for writing and other stuff?

AP: When I was writing 1st draft of my novel, I was pursuing my M. Tech. (at UDCT in chemical technology); the writer’s journey (seriously) began there. It took me around 3 years to write my 1st novel till I finally came to conclusion that this is now ready and we can go and approach publishers. By then I had completed M. Tech. and had started working as an intern in corporate world.  It took me around 6 months to realize that this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. So I quit my job and decided that I want to get in to this as a full timer. By then my novel’s editing now by Rainbow publishers had started after signing the contract.

Currently, I am working on two different ideas for my next novels and pursuing an extensive course in Screenplay writing and Direction.

DI: I generally find time to write on weekends or some time after office.

Q: “No man is an island” and true to this statement, there are a lot of people behind every accomplishment. Whom do you consider your biggest ally in your journey and why?

AP: There are lot many, to name few, my Parents who stood behind me and gave me complete freedom in whatever I do. My grandma, I don’t have words for her. She is my real inspiration to live life at fullest. My Aunt Shaila mavashi, Subodh dada and cousins Aashu, Rupa, Sarang, Koutuk, Akshay, Swapnil. My friends and all family members, who, in some or the other way stood behind me. My Co-author Deepti Who helped me in elaborating and editing the novel.  2nd last is my sister Madhura and my brother in law Mahesh who supported me and helped me this journey.

And finally my (inspirational) dream Girl who made this novel possible by saying “NO” to me.

DI: I consider my biggest ally in my journey is Ashish. He is the one who inspired me to write something to publish it. And my parents who have always supported and trusted me in everything I have done.

Q: Since your book is a love story so how much is it inspired from your own life? Did you really face any of the circumstances described in the book in your real life? If yes then which one of that?

AP: Well, I would not like to mention the specific incidences. But there are few who I have lived in reality and jotted down in novel as it is. I had tried explaining them to Deepti during our meeting to help her edit the thing correctly. I have mentioned several times upwards that it is inspired from my own life and girl who make my life worth living back in those days. She is not in my life anymore though and it sucks.

DI: It is a complete fiction love story.

Q: What are your future plans? Do you intend to write books on romance or juggle in any other genre also? And will you again join forces with your partner for any of the next books?

AP: Well currently I am working on two different ideas as mentioned earlier for my next novel. I intend to write scripts for movies as well and get in to Direction as well. After 10 years I would like to see myself as Novelist, Screenwriter, Actor, Producer and Director. (Like some of my idol to name few…Master Director Shekhar Kapoor, Nagesh Kukunoor, Novelist  Chetan Bhagat etc.)

If the idea clicks again we will certainly work together or alone. But both of us will be in writing that’s for sure.

DI: We would try new genre also. We don’t know if we would write all novels together. But wherever and whenever opportunity knocks our life we would surely join forces to make it better.

Q: What is one thing you like and one thing you dislike about your partner during this whole journey?

AP: Deepti is very good in describing the scenario and elaborating and editing that was the reason we started working together. I must say she is extremely sincere. I have habit of keep in mind only good things about person and forget bad.

DI: One good thing about my co author is that he has always been a good friend in the whole journey. And bad thing I don’t know or I never noticed as we have been friends for so long that we are used to our pros and cons very well.

Q: Every writer gets a mental blockage from time to time when nothing new comes in his mind for days or may be weeks. Did you guys face any such situations and how you cope up with it?

AP: Well, I have a habit of jotting down the ideas when I get them even if it’s 3 in night if get an idea in sleep, I will wake up and scribble it down. So I have jotted many ideas. When I get in to mental block and this happens with every creative person, I just go to Shivaji Park (Dadar, Mumbai) with the note pad of ideas… Sometimes I get a cigarette other times I get in to coffee shop and think on the jotted once. If it’s also not clicking I just enjoy the atmosphere and release the stress that I don’t have any idea to work on. Sooner or later I get something to work on and the journey begins again.

DI: Yes. I have faced this situation. In my case it was a month almost when there was nothing new. I generally forget about doing anything in that particular front. My solution was to get fresh for some days and then get back to it. It generates new ideas.

Q: What do you want to say to the readers of this magazine and the readers of your book in the end?

AP: Enjoy reading ‘just another LOVE STORY’. I am 100% sure you gonna love it. And thanks for all the support.

DI: For the readers of the magazine please do read our book. And for the readers of our book, do lets us know your views at deepti.sd.ingle@gmail.com or anand.pethe@gmail.com. And it is your love that would inspire us to write new novels in better forms.


Schickados is a Bangalore based rock band

They hit you with a breeze of innovation and a sense of nostalgia when you meet them for the first time. We were sitting in an open café with an ice tea in our hands. That itself was adding a different kind of calmness in their demeanor.

Every band starts with a fun quotient, did you guys also? Affirmative was the response. So when you guys felt pumped up to start this? Actually it is a legacy that started in the 70s. I felt suspicious, in 70’s do rock bands existed in India? The answer was both Yes and No. the band was informally formed in that era with Abhilash’s father as one of the artists on board. So it is a legacy you guys are carrying on your lean shoulders. “Absolutely” agrees Sylvester. All this makes it a daunting task to write about the beginning of a band like Schickados. “We started our journey in a formal way in 2006 when we started to perform gigs at the major night outs of Bangalore.”

So who’s who of Schickados? “Sylvester is the lead guitarist, Abhilash is on the drums and I juggle with the keyboard. Sylvester and I are on the vocals also so we are kind of multitasking.” Sumeru gave me a brief bio.

So what the name Schickados means? “Schickard is a place on the moon. And we are determined to find a place there for our band.” Sylvester said with a glint in his eyes. That was quite a mighty comment to make within a few minutes but I must say that I was impressed.

So what is their forte? From the beginning of the band we knew that we don’t want to confine ourselves to any particular genre. But for name sake we call our kind of music as experimental. It is mix of everything conceivable like jazz, rock, metal, light metal, blues, retro, carnatic music and fusion. ‘In short we play what we like to play.’ Sylvester said with a toothy grin. So you guys mix carnatic music with metal? Sumeru nodded. That was really novel. Till that time I was convinced that their kind of music was largely experimental and soon we might have a name for it also just like jazz and metal.

Where they derive inspiration from was my next question. Beatles. They are legends and we truly love their compositions. Apart from that Thermal and a Quarter, Chili Pepper, John Meyer, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton are next in the list although not in the same order.

We had performed at almost all the happening places of Bangalore like Hard Rock café, Windsor Manor and in almost all the major colleges of Bangalore, Hyderabad, Chennai and Pondicherry.

About the album front, “We have been through a lot of tumultuous times in the past due to various reasons so the idea of an album is still in the cards. We are working in that direction and will hope to surprise our fans sooner than expected.” I was sure their fans will be more than happy to have their collection on their shelves.

So what are the expectations from their endeavour in this form of music? “We always want to remain a student of music. There is no better thing than creating your own compositions and then let them flow among an audience having a great taste.” I couldn’t help except agreeing. “We want to go on with our experiments to create something which is entirely new and innovative and also have a lot of fun along the way.” Sumeru finished his part. “And above all we want to be a part of the history of Bangalore’s rock band’s history just like the Thermal and a Quarter. They are one of the oldest bands and are on the top but I am sure we will be there one day alongside them.” Sylvester finished the answer. A small pause after Sylvester’s reply added a whole new dimension in our chat.

What they love about the crowd in Bangalore?  The best part of playing here is the crowd which is so musically informed and inclined and loves most of the not so popular tracks from the popular bands we cover.

What are the basic qualities one should have to come in this field? “The first is talent. That is of utmost importance and then comes the practice which coupled with hard work can take you to places. I know I am sounding clichéd but the truth is that you can’t take your audience for granted. You can’t expect to receive accolades for the same old stuff you are playing from the last five years so talent and hard work is both essential for success.” Sumeru took a small pause. ‘One thing I want to add is research about music, I mean every kind of music, listen to them and love them without any musical prejudices. It is very important.’ Sumeru nodded his head in support of Sylvester.

I came to know that they also have their jobs and colleges apart from their love for music. I have a company name “Bonda Soup” which is dedicated to painting, sculpting and movie making. Sylvester said. Abhilash is also a teacher apart from being a student and Sumeru is a student, only till now.

They conversed in perfect harmony as if they were not giving any interview but performing a gig but ain’t we are in love them for the same?

Continued from part 1……………..


My college seniors who are doing jobs almost always curse their team leaders and bosses, their company, their high work load and above all their meager salary. My friends who are in the world’s best companies, whenever we talk, always fills me with details about how their seniors made them to do overtime for almost four to five hours, all weekdays and without any extra compensation. They always looked unsatisfied before their latest increment and after getting the appraisal, a few months look good but then the vicious cycle repeats itself again.

If Bill Gates, J.R.D. Tata, Thomas Alva Edison would have taken leave or had felt that now they don’t need to do anything after they had been acknowledged by who’s who of their fields, all over the world and had gotten their fair share of recognition and fame then in what form today, do you think, would have been Microsoft, the Tata group and GE? If these giant organizations had not reinvented them from time to time as per the market and their competitors then what do you think would have happened to these behemoths?

Mostly people who do jobs assume that after getting a high paying job, the biggest and the toughest task of their lives has been over and now they only have to survive the in the Raise Race. It is true that most of the employees utilizeonly that much efficiency and energy that makes them invulnerable from getting pink slips and pruning. They take a long leave from reinventing themselves according to the changing times after getting some awards or seeing their names on the wall of fame of their offices. Their life’s only aim is to live from one paycheck to another, then another and then another and so on. Although they disguise this noble truth by several other mom and pop reasons and excuses like I am in this job for my family, I love my job, I love my company (although my job sucks) instead of saying truths like I am in this job for my repaying my house loan, I love my cars (whose EMIs are paid by my company) and I love my credit cards etc because if they accept that these are the reasons which binds them from their jobs then they will be labeled as greedy and mean and who wants that?

I don’t know if Mr. Subroto Bagchi, the co- founder of Mindtree consulting, had started the company with a simple desire of having a fancy house, a Bentley in the garage, an army of servants and lots of high tech gadgets. I mean I really don’t know. Well anyways leave it here only because we will only talk here about things which I know.

But when I get a job, I will have a nice car, a big apartment, an ultra modern mobile, a sexy laptop (I sometimes wonder how a laptop can be sexy) and lots of other goodies. That is my thinking (at least, I know that much for sure), the thinking of a simple material driven common employee. I don’t know about yours, DO YOU?

One day, one of my seniors was complaining of not getting his usual yearly promotion. He started his career as a coder in a large MNC, one year later he got an appraisal but he still write the same codes. Two years down the line he again hoped for another promotion although he still writes the same codes and when he didn’t get it…… hewhammed the company and its management, although within the boundaries of his flatwhere there was no one except me and he, himself. Here is a just an opposite example as seen above , here is a person who wanted to move forward without incrementing his skill sets and only on the basis of his increased experience in writing codes for which someone else had created the specifications. And if he won’t get it for some more time then he might seriously consider switching jobs for getting his RIGHT.

An entrepreneur is like a creator, a preserver and a destroyer for his organization. He finds methods to create wealth and value for his company, he, then with the help of his team, preserves these values and wealth and he also sometimes destroys the wealth and the structure of his creation by remolding his organization according to the changing times and trends BUT what are we, I think only a byproduct of our lust and greed. Our lives are mostly governed by only these two feelings, whether we like it or not. We are the real parasites who only wanted the pie of every creation of this world but don’t want to pay its price. We like this mouse trap in which we live and discourage others who wanted to be free from this raise race.  We first loath every creator and when he gets successful we worship him like a god, begging him to give us a share in his triumphant creation. That is why we buy shares in hot companies in a hot sector because we want a pie of the cake but without doing the anything worthy and when the market takes a dip, we curse the management and the company for our loses.

Now my question is still the same

“What is your Greed and Lust Quotient?”

Decide yourself by looking in the mirror. I just hope that you would still like the face of the person looking back at you.

He who is greedy is always in want.”

By: Horace (Roman poet)

Greed: A word commonly used by liberals, low achievers, anti-capitalists and society’s losers to denigrate, shame and discredit those who have acquired superior job skills and decision-making capabilities and who, through the application of those job.”

By: Neal Boortz

The world is not only divided between male and female, saint and sinner or man and animal.

The division is much more versatile and vaster. Man even has divided the dictionary into two kinds of words, yes the word which are for saint and the words which belong to the sinners.

Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness and Humility are the seven virtues that should be possessed by a perfect man and on the other side we have 7 sins of human race…… Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride.

For ages we have considered that a perfect man should have these seven virtues and he must abduct the other seven untouchables and put them in a locker deep down in the valleys of mind.

Just like fear is not a figment of mind it has a real existence same is the case with these seven sins. Even if one does not possess the seven virtues, one can’t escape from the other seven. It is same as the tussle between Rama and Raavan. It is not possible for Rama to win every time in real life. That is why it is called Kalyug since Raavan is not going anywhere. It is within us, within our systems, within our rulers and within our followers.

In all of the seven sins the most effective and deep rooted sins are Lust and Greed. The human race has evolved to such an extent just because of the contribution of these two. I had always heard rich people are greedy, politicians are parasites and bureaucrats are the synonyms of blood suckers for common people. Common man is one who bears everything is the victim of their greed. But is this the complete truth? Is it enough to convict only those for the miseries of common man or of ours and just throw the burden of one’s failures from one’s back?

Our whole economy is working on the base of greed and lust. The lust for power and the greed for money and being a part of this man made economy we also are a part contributor in the development of this behemoth.

But I am just a simple man with simple ambitions and a simple job. How could I possibly be involved in this? I had done no wrong in my entire life. I am selfless poor soul. But do you ever think about the process when you tie your shoe laces. No….. since we are so much used to the whole process that it seems natural to us. Do you ever look at your hand and wonder the marvel of nature in the form of your hand. I guess rarely it is the case since we are so used to of having it. Similarly greed and lust are so engraved in our souls that we never think about it as a separate topic until someone else points it in us.

But how and when this becomes a part of our nature? When everyone tells us it is ghastly then how we become so used to it?

Let’s take a simple example of an employee and an employer. You might have heard the same thing which I had heard long time back from one of my teachers and you also might have agreed with it (if you are not the creator of anything worthwhile except your kids since that come naturally to us) that the capitalists are the greedy lot; that they are the real parasites and blood suckers of a hardworking common man. Their main aim is to exploit their employees for more money.

But every giant organization was once a startup just like every Napoleon once was an infant and for any startup, before it comes to existence, its promoters have to consider all the consequences of their decisions.

And the first one that comes straight in the mind is LIVING WITHOUT A PAYCHECKfor several months or may be several years.

Wal-mart’s Sam Walton, Infosys’ Narayan Murthy and other co-founders, Microsoft’s Bill Gates, Apple’s Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs, Dell’s Michael Dell (the list is endless), all these are from different demography, different backgrounds and have different values but one thing that was common in all of them, and many others guys like these, is that they had started their REAL WORTHY lives, their REAL careers without thinking about a paycheck.

I’m not saying that the very thought of a hefty salary in one’s bank account, at the end of the month, is not intriguing, in fact it is. This very thought has the magic that can bring smiles on the faces of any of us; this thought is the basis of many dreams and expectations of our lives. And being a human, these entrepreneurs and mavericks also must have felt weak at their hearts and some part of their minds would also have been clouted with the same fear that would have confused them from time to time to seek the security of a job and a paycheck. There must be times when they would have questioned their own conscience and motives, time when they would have been insulted, time that would have been tough for them, time when they would have been failed and not once or twice but many times before tasting even a small pinch of success.

To be continued……………

I am writing this letter because I think that I won’t be able to say whatever I want to say with such intensity and feelings. Our Indian culture is such that children are expected not to question the authority of the elders and in this letter also I am not going to question your decisions which you had taken for me. The purpose of this letter is to put my views and my opinions about certain things which I feel, are and, will be important in shaping my happiness in the future.

I know that you both love me and want to see me happy, always. You always chose what is best for me and I always trusted you and your decisions not just because you are my creator but because I know that nobody in this world can care as much as you are concerned for me. I am what I am not because of my intelligence or hard work but because you made a right decision at the right time. I only tried to follow the path you showed me at the tender age and if people think that I am independent and intelligent because of my hard work and my intelligence then it is their view, not mine.

I know that you always consider my happiness as your first priority. Now I am in a good job, earning enough money, eating good food and wearing nice clothes but am I happy? This question can only be answered by one person and that person is me.

Money does not equate to happiness, you always advised me this, and aping what others are doing also doesn’t guarantee that one will be able to get the success he craves for. Success is not only about earning big bucks at a faster pace. Success had a different meaning for all of us….. for someone it might be getting good grades in the exams, for some it might be marrying with someone he love, for some other it might be helping his child to take the first step, for some its money, for some its social awakening, for some it is harvesting a good crop and for some others it might be winning a local cricket match.

For me success is if I am happy in what I am doing, if I am getting a high everyday when I go to work and if I love what I am doing? Not everyone is a successful doctor, engineer, lawyer or pilot. This world is filled with 90% of people who are putting mediocre efforts in their jobs, giving only 10 to 50% of their total energy in their jobs and expecting 100% returns in the form of salary, benefits and perks.

“Mediocrity must be a curse for you if you call yourself a man.”

I don’t want to see myself as a mediocre professional when I know that I have the ability to excel in the field of my choice.

In the beginning I might not earn the money which I am earning right now but I believe that my true calling and my hard work in the right areas will take me much higher than if I am any other place. No one is perfect and it is futile to look for perfection in this imperfect world. Since nature has the tendency of balancing every imperfection in a perfect way. For me money is secondary if I am doing what I love and love what I do but if I am in a job which is not my true calling then money is the only motivator to keep me there but as someone has rightly said that “money in itself is a very weak motivator”.

Spending 5/7 (for some it is 6/7, since only Sunday is a holiday for some) in frustration and cursing the job is not at all an ideal situation for me. 40 years from now, I don’t want to look back at my life thinking that I could do better even be happier than I am right now. Even if I fall while pursuing what I love, I will be happy that I fell so many times and learnt at least one new lesson every single time.

I assure you that I will again rise from ashes and keep on doing that till I will not achieve the excellence. But I want you to trust me and ponder over what I am trying to tell here.

Most of the times people instead of hearing their inner calling try to listen what others have to say about their decisions. Nowadays we look for approval in every single pair of eyes about our choices and even give approvals to others with pleasure. I am still not able to meet a single person who is confident about his decisions and do not wish to seek approval from others. We buy stocks based on what our friends are buying who are subsequently buying on someone else’s opinion and so on. We watch movies based on the comments on social media which themselves are a part of a bigger lobby. In every aspect of our lives we have became a part of a big group which itself is a part of a even bigger crowd

We collectively ridicule people who try to break away from the crowd and try to get them along us. Those who are not able to handle the ridicules and banters of being alone surrender themselves to a life of mediocrity and frustration but those who are successful in their resistance are again approved as geniuses and mavericks by the same mob…….. What an irony? The mob, which once criticized and tortured them for not joining it, now wants to give them approval for their daredevils through various mediums.

I just want you to think, without seeking approval from others, without thinking that if I do something that is against conventional methods what others would say. Just consider that what I am happy doing rather than thinking what others want or think?

And I am not alone in my journey on this less travelled road.

“No man is an island”

I had friends who supported me but, except few, even friends don’t support you unconditionally. There is only one person apart from your family whom you can trust completely is the one who loves you when you are only a dreamer. If life is like a vehicle which has four supports, one of them family, one is the support of friends, the third one is our beliefs and the last but the equally important is the support of your life partner. And life partner doesn’t mean that it should be your spouse or the person you love. It can be your lovable pet like in the case of Sylvester Stallone whose dog gave him support when even his wife left him when he was chasing his dreams and was in the middle of poverty.

So choosing a life partner needs both trust and love. And if one finds someone whom one can trust then he must consider himself lucky instead of feeling smart.

I know, parents feel that since they have taken every important decisions of the lives of their offspring this decision should also be taken by them, part of this belief is also due to they don’t trust the judgments of their children to be perfect but as I have said earlier that we are in a habit of looking for perfection in this imperfect world. Isn’t it logical that every child is expected to follow the path set by his/her parents but on the reverse side parents shows very less inclination towards trusting the decisions of their own products.

It cannot be proved with facts that which form of marriage (love or arrange) has a higher rate of divorces since many couples choose to live as complete strangers under one roof rather than choosing to go the legal way. And it is also unverifiable that physical harassment or such heinous crimes are more prominent in love marriages or in arrange marriages. I just want to say that whether love or arrange the thing that matters the most is the happiness of those two who are going to live together. It is a decision that cannot be taken as 100% surety since we are humans with lot of errors inbuilt in us. We have ego, jealousy, possessiveness, fatigue, love, joy, sadness that controls our decision making ability and it can go awry at any point of time even after the marriage is decided in heaven.

My point is simple, If one has decided to make someone as his life partner don’t dismiss the whole idea as a joke or don’t feel insulted that how such an important decision is taken without asking for your opinion but try to be reasonable and give at least a proper thought to your child’s decision and most importantly trust him so that he can trust his ability to take important decisions in his life.

We ask our parents with hope that they will respect our decisions and trust our instincts but most of the times it happens that the parents take it as their insult and that feelings are mostly because of the fact that what others will think if their son/daughter marries with a person of their choice.

I only urge you to give a proper unbiased chance to prove the validity of the choices of your son/daughter before giving the judgment.

Since we create the society and not the vice versa.

The whole point of raising kids is to make them independent and independent doesn’t mean earning money and living in an urban area. Independent means that when someone is able to take the important decisions based on sound facts and orderly information. But when we are told to being independent it is not expected from us that we must take any decision which we should not have taken without consulting our parents. So then this whole concept of being independent is wrong, it should be called as “Being Independent*” (* conditions apply). And these conditions should clearly mention that what kind of decisions we can take and what we should ask others before zeroing on them.

I am not against anyone but my simple mind tells me that one should be given proper chance to explain his reasons before crucifying him.

Try to be empathetic rather than judgmental. It will help you to understand each other better.

From Your Beloved Child
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

I might have missed many subtle points based on my limited knowledge but I hope the readers will give me valuable inputs in the form of comments to fill those voids. Also don’t consider it as my story it is only a general approach which I think is necessary due to the increase in the cases of many lovers eloping and getting married without their parent’s consent and blessings and also the inclination of our 60% of professionals towards drug and other addictions as an option for relieving the frustrations from their jobs. I just want to say :

“Give me some sunshine. Give me some rain.

Give me another chance; I wanna grow up once again.”

I dont want to say these words when I am at my death bed and I guess, neither do you.

Check out this space for more new blogs with a new perspective…. till then LIVE WITH PASSION AND LOVE WITH OPEN HEARTS.

WHAT is your WHY?

Posted: July 20, 2010 in Uncategorized

Recently, I was going through an article about a large multinational company in a magazine. There the VP of that company had mentioned about their mission statement for 2020. A goal that they had promised, to their shareholders, employees and to themselves, they will achieve by the year 2020.

Again my relentless mind started wandering in different directions.

Why all companies, big or small, have a mission statement indicating their growth plans?

Can this be emulated in an individual’s life also?

Do people have their personal mission statements just like the organizations whom they work for?

So I wandered here and there in Google and found something…….something that I want to share with all of you, today.

Surprisingly, some of the greatest names in history have had some of the simplest personal mission statements.


Thomas Edison: Create inventions that people needed, that people would pay for and that would be profitable.”

John F. Kennedy:To put a man on the moon in this decade.”

Andrew Carnegie (American steel industrialist, founder of the public library system, and at one time the richest man in the world): To spend the first half of my life making as much money as I can — and the second half giving it away.”

Stanley Mason (inventor of the Band-Aid, disposable diapers and other consumable consumer products):Create one invention a year that will generate $10 million a year in royalties forever.”

Google: To organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.”


But now you may ask that they all were geniuses, high profile people but I am just a common man doing my simple paying job in a company having numerous employees just like me? I don’t have enough resources, no money, no time or no special talents to show off the world, how can it be done?

First of all I would like to share a story with you. A story that will show you that if you have a strong “WHY” you will get your “HOW”. Don’t think anything about the previous statement just read the story,

“It was afternoon, the sun was blazing hot. The road was deserted. The town was looking lifeless as if the sun had ripped it out of its soul. A small boy was playing outside a small house with an old rusty car standing on a pile of bricks instead of tires. His mother and father were gone to the nearby town for their jobs. His grandmother was inside preparing lunch for him.

Slam……..Bang…..Thud.

Suddenly a deafening sound shattered the peace of the place. The old lady, with a sense of some vicious incident, came running outside the house. The car was not at its usual position and his grandson’s half body was under the car. The boy, by mistake, had disturbed the balance of the car. The old lady looked helplessly in her neighborhood for some help but not a single soul was visible. Her only grandson was shrieking with inhuman pain in his voice.

She knew she had not more than a few minutes to save his grandson. In that split second she decided something. She moved towards the car and held the car from her both hands. She looked at the boy with love and anxiety mixed in her eyes. And she lifted that rusty car all with her bare hands.”


Just a story, isn’t it, and stories are a figment of imagination but not this one. This story is real to the core. That old lady was sixty five years old, had never done anything like that in those 65 years then how did she achieved it? That task which seems impossible even for a young healthy man to accomplish.

Her “WHY” was so strong that she got her “HOW” within a minute.

She faced a question “WHY I NEED TO DO THIS?” and her answer was simple “To save my precious grandson” and she never had to figure out “HOW will I do it?” since her first question’s answer gave him the required courage and strength.


So, if you have a strong “WHY” you will get your “HOW”. Your personal mission statement will answer the WHY for you and if your WHY is strong enough then your mind will figure out the HOW part of it.

Here is a simple exercise that will help you deciding your life’s purpose and the thing you are really passionate about. Do take some time before giving your answers.

(I also had attached a pdf file containing all these questions with some spaces for your answers on the right hand side of this web page below the banner of Flipkart. Download it in your computer and take a printout if you want)

Q. If I were provided witheverything I wanted with the knowledge that I will never fail if I pursue “something” that will help me to release my full potentialand achieve my highest vision, what would that “something” would be?

After answering the above question kindly fill in the blanks below:


Whether in my career or in my private life, the activity I am most passionate about and have been most passionate about over time is…_______________________


The reason I’m so passionate about this activity is…_____________________


I could pursue this activity full-time if I…________________________


I could thrive in my family and committed relationships, while at the same time pursuing this activity, if I…___________________________________


This activity serves others in that it…____________________


When I daydream, the life I visualize for myself includes…_______________________


When I’m at the end of my life, I hope to look back on my life and be satisfied that I accomplished…_____________________________________

(Read my first blog at for more explanation of the above statement athttp://makeitgr8.weebly.com/1/post/2010/04/what-will-you-remember-a-dream-that-changed-my-life.html)

I know I will have led a life of meaning if I…______________________________

Now combine all your thoughts above into the single statement below — a statement that explains a life pursuit you can be passionate about and dedicated to long-term…a statement that explains what drives you, what keeps you enthusiastic and what brings you fulfillment. That’s the definition of a powerful life purpose!

The best use of my productive time, heartfelt effort and passionate dedication is to…..________________________________________


Kindly send me your comments and views about this post. To know about my mission statement please visit this link
http://makeitgr8.weebly.com.
Meet you soon with another of my blog, till then LIVE WITH PASSION AND LOVE WITH OPEN HEARTS.

Are You Searching Something?

Posted: July 20, 2010 in Uncategorized

Yesterday I received a funny SMS from one of my friend. It was about all time favorite Santa Singh who was searching his house keys on the road under a street lamp. Banta Singh, who was passing by, decided to help him in his search. After one hour of fruitless hunt, Banta Singh asked Santa Singh

‘Are you sure you had lost the keys here in this area?’

‘No, I lost them in the bushes there.’ Santa Singh pointed to a dark area at a distance.

‘Then why the hell are you searching them here?’ Banta Singh was now completely miffed.

‘It is easier to search here, that’s why.’ Santa replied calmly.


Now how many of you felt that Santa was a crazy guy? Say ‘I’ to yourself if you considered it even remotely. And now how many of you think that this is one thing that they can never do in their lives ever? Say ‘I’ again if your answer is in affirmative.

So, now you mean to say that you are not foolish enough to search for something at a place where it is not present for example you won’t look for your laptop in the refrigerator and your wallet in the bathroom, right?

But you will be amazed that almost 97.9999% of this planet’s population looks for things at places where they are not present at all. Some questions you might be asking to yourself are:

1. Who, me? No, I am not in that 97.9999% people. I am not that dumb.

2. What might be those things? Oh I get it; this guy is again talking nonsense.

3. Is he bluffing? What crap is this?

Before giving you any of the answers I would like you to read the following……………………..

Do you know that we simultaneously exist in two worlds? And I am not talking about the movie “Matrix”. These two worlds are inner world and outer world. Our outer world contains things like the your house, the seat on which you are sitting right now, the computer you are using, the clothes you are wearing, air you are inhaling and exhaling and so on while our outer world contains our dreams, our thoughts etc.

You might be right now sitting in a room in your outer world but in your inner world you might be thinking about the share market or about the girl you love or may be about sex. So it means that one can simultaneously coexist in both the worlds.


Like everything, both these worlds have their own set of rules and one have to abide by those if one wants to live a happy and content life. The rules which are applied in one world are not applicable for the other world. For example, in outer world we have money but happiness is something which exists in the inner world. Let me make it more clear, have anyone of you can give me some happiness from your wallet or some amount of grief from your cupboard or can you buy some happiness from Wal-Mart or Big bazaar (If you can then this blog is not for you).

So I hope I had cleared the main differences about the inner world and outer world in your eyes. Now coming back to the main question……………….do you belong to the 97.9999% or not?

Most of the time, we think that if we get a good job or a good salary or a nice car or a big house, we will be happy. But the point here is a car, a job and money is all a part of our outer world where there is no place for happiness, since it exists in our inner world. And most of us think that if we accumulate all these material luxuries we will finally be happy. So in essence we are searching for happiness at the wrong place since it much easier to look outside than introspecting.


So if you are thinking in the same line than you know where you belong and also that only Santa Singh is not the crazy one here.

Check out the website for more new blogs with a new perspective till then LIVE WITH PASSION AND LOVE WITH OPEN HEARTS.